Why don’t people just listen? I tell them something and its like they didn’t even hear what i said and already try to correct me and or repeat it. This is why i hate repeating myself.
I typed in yumblr instead of tumblr. What kind of site do you think yumblr would be? that’s if it was a real site.
tumblr people no wanna be my fwiends, wah?
Being sick isn’t as fun as it was when i went to school.
My computer is like acting stupid!! WTF?! work, I need you to work!!
I know this is a waste of my time because no one would bother to read some of my stuff anyways or reply to it, but i have no one i can talk to at this time and it kills me.
I don’t know why I have such a hard time opening to people and making friends. I only have two real friend in my whole 3 years of my life — yeah, two is enough, but secretly i would like to have more — my friend Janett, my boyfriend Matthew who is basically the only person i see because Janett works and i understand that she has no time in her schedule to hang with me but when we do i really treasure the moments.
- me: I read aliens have the ability to change gender and that they pity for the human race for not having the ability...what if i could do it?
- boyfriend : ...do you head your self?
- me : I'm just saying what if one day i can randomly change gender would you let me fuck you?
- boyfriend : no!
- me : well will you at least give me a blow job or fuck me as well?
- boyfriend : NO, EMILY!
- me : well i will still have all this *hovers hand over chest area* its just instead or a vajay I'll had a dike.
- boyfriend : do you hear yourself?
- me : HEY, HEAR ME OUT! what if the aliens abducted me and i go missing for like 2 weeks and my body is able to change gender?
- boyfriend : that will never happen.
- me : okay, maybe its like 1 in a billion that will happen but what if i become that 1?
- boyfriend : first of all, it will be 1 out or 6 zillion and it will never happen
- me : okay watch him going to go missing and during those 2 weeks you will know I'm going to be coming back with a dick.
- me : and I'm going to drop my pants and swing it in your face and tell you, "i told you so."
- boyfriend: *shakes head surprised of whats coming out of my mouth*
- me: you seriously won't let me fuck you with my dick?...wait, wait! is it because you will be intimidated by its size?
- boyfriend: *sarcastically* Yes, yes! i will be so intimidated.
- me: well what if it is a asian sized penis?
- boyfriend: thats pretty racist...
- me: I'M TALKING ABOUT OUR LOVE HERE!
- me: You're saying that you will not love me if i was able to change gender because i have a penis?
- boyfriend: It's gay. I'm not gay, Emily.
- me: What? its not gay i mean i'm a --
- boyfriend: a what?
- me: ...
- boyfriend: correct you will be a guy and it would be gay.
- me: hey! i would totally be gay for you. I support gays anyway.
- boyfriend: Emily.
- me: Matthew.
- boyfriend: ...Emily, think about what you are saying.
- me: you don't LOVE ME! you will have urges that i will feel as well cause i will have them too and cause i have no female part you will leave me and find a girl with girl parts :(
- boyfriend: No i won't.
- me: so can we have sex when i have a dick?
- boyfriend: no. I wouldn't do that.
- me: what if i let you do me from behind well i jerk it off?
- boyfriend: ...
- me: so the whole reality is you will not be intimate with me but, you will love me. How are we going to CONNECT?
- boyfriend: I really don't know.
- me: well you will have to face it! cause one day you and me will be kissing and i will have a raging hard boner.
- boyfriend: really?
- me: really!
- boyfriend: not in public, Emily.
- me: WHAT!?...okay, look, what if i get stuck. Like i get stuck on the male gender and i'm just that. A girl on top and guy below. Will you still be with me and love me?
- boyfriend: I...i don;t know.
- me: MATT! its like a life change for me i'm stuck with a male part will you still love me and want to be with me or will you leave me and ditch me?
There is someone…and he makes me so happy. I mean before i met him i will always end my days crying myself to sleep because i feel i wasn’t worth the life. I was always alone and the only thing i had were animals, but they always end up dying and i become alone again. I didn’t believe that someone will love me so they won’t miss me. I will always be inside and bottle my feelings up.
did you ever realize that you could just get up right now and start walking somewhere far far away and never come home again
Yes. Yes, i do…but then i remember that i have internet, food, and a bed with a laptop here…why would i leave?…but then there are moments when i think this again. I did it once, just got up and walked away but i end up coming back cause i got hungry.
I’ve notice i haven’t been drawing as much as i would like to..i don’t know, perhaps, Art Block???..maybe???..pffft. Well i’m now deciding that i will draw one or more of the characters from my watchers DA account, just to get me drawing. If you want to send a character ref sheet to my tumblr account as-well you are going to have to follow me first because i am only drawing for my watchers.
So yeah, i drawing the characters for my watchers on both DA and Tumblr it will be great if it was human ones because i need to practice more on my hands, legs, faces, ect. yeeeaaahh~…so i’ll draw whatever…this blog was suppose to be my art blog so i’m trying my best to fill it with more art….I’m off to draw some stuff. feel free to drop a comment/question/or request in my ask or what you want to drop…maybe a puppy with a dildo, who knows?
Today, i saw a cute little girl with curly red hair running in the store and i thought of Princess Merida from Brave when she was a small child. So cute.
Am i unapproachable???…well, it seems that way, perhaps I’m just so socially awkward people just feel uneasy around me and try to move as far away from my aurora as possible. I wonder how it feels being around me?
I need some more music. Be so kind and send me some of your recommended song choices or favorite band.